Poetry

Restaurant Review: Tom Douglas’s Rice Krispie Treats Bistro

Yummers! Photo courtesy Tom Douglas Restaurants
Tom’s Classic Marshmallow-Infused Rice Krispie Treats. Yummers!
Photo courtesy Tom Douglas Restaurants

Speaking as a proud member of Seattle’s nouveau riche, I’m proud that my city has finally exorcised its working-class roots and become truly world-class in so many ways.

Nevertheless, some people apparently still refuse to be happy with Seattle’s recent prosperity — as well as that of our longtime model city San Francisco. The recent brouhaha here over four-dollar slices of plain toast in upscale San Francisco bistros is just one example among many of how Seattle’s poverty-loving hipsters need to “get over it,” indeed.

Never mind the whiners: we bested Frisco once again when a toast bistro opened recently in Ballard that charges seven dollars for a single slice of plain toast. (Seven dollars! We’re a world-class city now! Take that, Frisco!) Now, Seattle has triumphed once again in the upscale bistro market with the opening last month of Tom Douglas’s Rice Krispie Treats Bistro.

Located in Laurelhurst (where else?), Tom’s new bistro features mouth-wateringly upscale variations on the classic sugary comfort food — strategically priced, of course, to keep out the ugly, scary rabble. These variations include such now-classic New Seattle bistro ingredients as arugula, roasted red pepper pesto, and chanterelle mushrooms — and they surely deserve such popular foodie adjectives as “aromatic,” “succulent,” “delectable,” and “infused.” I especially enjoyed the truly succulent Penn Cove Oyster-Infused Smoked Artichoke Treats ($23 each), which I gleefully washed down with a delicious glass of Water-Infused Water ($11). Yummers!

Long story short, Tom Douglas’s latest culinary triumph proves — proves! — that anything San Francisco can do, Seattle can do better. Fuck you, San Francisco! Seattle once again rules the upscale comfort-food bistro racket!

Tom Douglas’s Rice Krispie Treats Bistro, 5041 35th Avenue Northeast, Laurelhurst, (206) 522-0996, tomskrispiesbistro.com. Prices: $$$$; credit cards: Visa, MasterCard, AmEx. Warning: poor people attempting entry will be shot on sight.