Hey, everybody! I’ve got a REALLY GREAT IDEA!
Okay, so, like, there’s major probs in Iraq right now, right? Like, back circa 2002, a bunch of our elected officials in Washington, D.C., told us it would be a REALLY GREAT IDEA to invade Iraq in order to liberate the Iraqis from that bad, bad man Saddam Hussein. Then we found out that there’s, like, these two major ethnic factions in Iraq who’ve been fighting each other for centuries, and now that the United States has officially left Iraq after occupying it for nearly a decade, they’re fighting again — big time. There’s even this new militant group called ISIL waging war against the official Iraqi government. It’s like we wasted all that money for nothing! Total bummer!
Also, there’s, like, major probs in Seattle right now, too. Like, back circa 2009, a bunch of our elected officials in Seattle and Olympia told us that spending several billion dollars to build a giant tunnel to replace the Alaskan Way Viaduct would be a REALLY GREAT IDEA. Then the giant eighty-million-dollar machine we bought to dig the multi-billion-dollar tunnel broke down after only digging a thousand feet or so. Now, six months later, it’s still broke. Some people are now saying the tunnel project will probably get canceled. It’s like we wasted all that money for nothing! Total bummer!
How can we solve the current problems in Seattle and Iraq? Here’s my REALLY GREAT IDEA: First, get Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz to solve the tunnel problem. Then get Chris Gregoire, Ed Murray, and Kate Joncas to solve the ISIL problem.
Total genius, right?
Hey! Where you goin’?
Come back here!