Of you and your pretentious requirements that stared at me Like an eligibility section of a job advertisement, Like random words in European languages, that you wanted me to use One each in every poem, to get them published in journals of repute. How I became free How I became free of your small talk, your manipulative aesthetic that bored me like a yawn. Your friends who snoop and nose 'round the writers and editors and their private lives and their private parts, the colour of their skin, searching for a perfect dinner banter. Who hallucinate and reach nirvana at the mention of your ugliness, your self-boasting expertise And your vicious worm like living within us, wishing we face every bit of the evil you bring through this very conceit. How I became free. How I became free of your synthetic diction play, Your unimpressive similes that fail to stay Like planks without soul, Sold to the edifice Of a structure, like your omnipresence That will someday ensure Your irrelevance.
Inability I fail to articulate like always that
this losing light, this disappearing day leaves every tree, being, every non-living thing as cold as your hate.
On the bus from Metro
A shadow of a shadow of a shadow A reflection of a reflection Cars and vehicles move Torsos, heads and hands Apparitions At different pace and sizes Now further, Near, Gone.
Lights can pass like city nights Meanings illuminate, Longing, numbness Love and forgetfulness A rush of blood Heave Rises up from the rumbles of ridicule jealousy, small talk Snoopy elastic rumours Like stretchable gums Like concretes that spike up
Through our miseries Skin and rain
Faces move, patchy roads Inertia, breaks.
May the body remain unwashed By the wetness of their visions of our reality May the reality remain unwashed By the wetness of their idea of our body May the troubles be swallowed every morning after the rage May the pain givers collide, infest May we breathe in their smog and breathe out their fiction. No conviction in this brothel Of the word and syntax Now remain.
Loving is breathing.
You do not have to exist. You do not have to know. It grows through your absence. It grows through your storm. You are not needed. You are not to be worshipped. The lack of you becomes you.
Loving is breathing. It comes out and goes in. You are not there, nowhere. You do not have to be somewhere. This sheer meagerness of you becomes you.
Love is just breathing. Breathing songs we culled together. For us to hold on to each other Till our clichéd forever Turned into a road that never, Never rained into a song.
Thousands of bodies move into a dreadlocked dream A thousand heads like the sea A thousand thoughts, a thousand desires Lanes that get lost in dry lonesomeness, cheap hotels Coughing, sniffing, waiting, falling into sleep Flowing into the great white lake Eyes without tears, ears without belief I look through her mind From the stairs that lead to the water Through these parched hillocks of stones and time A body of a thousand bodies A mind for a thousand imagination Soil, skin, teeth, feet, a murmur, Lips, busy streets, limbs, chin, bikes, Empty shops, my mind. I disintegrate Into grains. I become the sand. And count my days To get back here again.
Look within Gather your ugliness Measure it Count the countable, Analyze the liquids Gather your follies
You may use droppers, Test them on acid, Glass test tubes, Private laboratories.
Warm them Bring them to boil
Grieve Fumble Feel uncomfortable, Wretched Done! Scale your inabilities
Let these clothes never fit in Let yourself feel naked a little
Evaporate Eliminate, illuminate
Count the countable, Analyze the liquids Measure it.
Thanksgiving (After William S Burroughs)
Thank you for all that is not Thank you. Thank you for the words, The air and the water. Thank you numbness that runs through my veins Thank you blood, bones, destruction. Thank you dystopia. Thank you end of the world. Thank you, friends. Thank you, lovers. Thank you hunger, trickery, loss of ideals and faith. Thank you. Thank you, death. Thank you, haters. Thank you traitors. Thank you restless allegiance of ultimate doom. Thank you meaninglessness. Thank you lack of words. Thank you, Thank you, this torture.