The Professor began his lecture with the same warning he always gave when he reached this part of his course on the “American Presidency,” the part about Presidents who’d died while in office. Some students found the topic unsettling, particularly when a President died by other than “natural causes.” He always told his students they didn’t have to sit through something they might find distressing, and wouldn’t be penalized if they left.
He knew he could minimize any distress if he described the deaths in a matter-of-fact manner, but when films or photographs were available, he felt obligated to show them. The “Zapruder film” of the Kennedy assassination, for example, was quite unpleasant to watch, yet he showed it because it had become part of the history of the assassination.
He also knew some students could be upset by videos of the last presidential death in office some twenty-five years ago, even though it was generally agreed that this President had lost his life not because of anyone’s intentional act, but because of a confluence of naturally occurring events. Fortunately, these events had been observed by dozens of people, many of whom took videos of what was unfolding before them.
Early on, videos of this particular death could be counted on to stimulate considerable class discussion, complete with outlandish conspiracy theories. With the passage of time, however, interest had waned. Although this president had been widely perceived at the time as our worst president by far, most students were only vaguely familiar with his name.
As expected, the Professor’s warning about the disturbing nature of the upcoming recordings created a mild buzz in the auditorium, but everyone stayed. When the buzz died down, the Zapruder film clip was projected onto a large screen behind him. Once the film clip had come to an end, the Professor outlined the findings of an investigative commission, and then moved on to the last instance of a presidential death in office.
A high-resolution video recording now appeared on the screen, at which point he stood aside and watched the sequence of events along with his students. He’d watched this video – one of several that finally had been made available to the public – many times before:
The President and the First Lady are shown stepping out of Air Force One onto the attached stairway leading down to the tarmac. Standing side by side, they waved to the crowd of dignitaries and military personnel assembled below before beginning their descent. The First Lady could be seen holding on to her hat to save it from flying away in what appeared to be a steady breeze. Suddenly, the plane and its attached stairway shuddered noticeably when a strong gust of wind swept across the tarmac. As the First Lady tried to maintain control over her hat, she lurched into the President, who had already reached for a handrail to steady himself. Before he was able to secure a firm grip on the handrail, the First Lady grabbed his other arm for support and in doing so, pulled him toward her. This action caused him to lose his balance and begin to tumble head-first down the stairway. Instead of releasing her grip on him, the First Lady continued to cling to him, and as a result they both tumbled down the stairway, arms and legs flailing. Their downward plunge ended with him sprawled on the tarmac, the First Lady on top of him. The video next showed several military officers and other dignitaries rushing to them as they lay in a tangle at the bottom of the stairs. By then, the President was bleeding profusely from wounds to his head, and appeared to be unconscious. The video clearly showed what appeared to be the heel of one of the First Lady’s high-heeled shoes imbedded in his face.
At this point, the video disappeared from the screen, and the Professor returned to his place behind the lectern, where he told the now-hushed auditorium that the President never regained consciousness, and was declared dead upon arrival at the nearest hospital. The First Lady, though battered and bleeding, survived. The professor went on to paraphrase the relevant portions of the pathologist’s report:
The President’s injuries included a depressed skull fracture and fractures of the C-1 and C-2 vertebrae, all of which he could have survived with prompt medical attention. The fatal injury was caused by one of his wife’s 5-inch heels which had penetrated his left eye and continued until it was deep in his brain. This injury caused almost as much damage as being shot in the head at point-blank range by a .38 caliber weapon.
Looking up at the clock on the wall, the Professor saw that he was now out of time, but before he could dismiss the class, he saw a student waving her arms for attention. “Yes?” he said.
“What became of the First Lady?”
“It’s my understanding that she sold all the property she inherited, then moved to Russia and re-married.”
Another hand shot quickly shot up.
“Go ahead, but we have time for only one more question, okay?”
“Where can we see the shoe today? I mean the one with the heel that went in his eye.”
“Good question, but I’m afraid I don’t have the answer for you. I’ve read that one of the golf courses he once owned still has a collection of memorabilia, but I’d be surprised if the shoe is there. Your best bet is to find a replica somewhere. Millions were sold in this country, world-wide actually. You could even buy t-shirts with an image of the shoe. Check out a few of those “trash and treasures” shops you see here and there. You’ll find one.”
With that, the Professor gave his students a little wave and headed toward the exit, smiling faintly as he tried to remember where he’d stored the replica he’d purchased the very day they hit the market.
