Everybody hates Monday.
He has such a bad reputation
just because his car broke down
a few times on the way
to school, because he wears
such dorky clothes (khakis with a t-shirt
tucked in), because he lives
in a trailer park, because he’s always
the first student to raise his hand.
Friday gets a laugh making fun of him.
And yes, Friday is pretty cool.
Nobody else can throw a football
or a party like that. He can shotgun a beer
in five seconds. A great lad
to skip class with, always showing you
a new game on his phone.
But how many times
has he bailed on you? Left you
at a concert with no ride home?
Promised to introduce you
to that girl in Chemistry class
only to introduce her to someone else?
Likewise with his girlfriend
Saturday. I mean, she’s attractive,
who can deny that? Those full red
mornings to kiss, long pink afternoons
of hair, and brown evenings
to gaze and gaze.
She’s good company sometimes,
never met a funnier lady,
but she ditched me at the movies
twice and took the last blueberry scone
at the bakery as I was standing in line.
Thursday has always been jealous of her;
always wanted that body,
wanted Friday for herself.
And you really want to root
for Thursday when she comes in second
after trying so hard. She completes
every task perfectly, only to watch it
perfectly fall apart.
This has made her bitter, the cynical
observations and sarcastic comments
can be hard to stomach
as she spreads her gossip on the bus.
Wednesday doesn’t have time
for any of that. He’s a good man, solid,
there for you in a pinch.
He works hard on the football team
but Friday still gets all of the glory.
Many people don’t know that
Wednesday volunteers at a soup kitchen
and an animal shelter, all the puppies
wag their tails as he walks by.
The only problem is (and I really
shouldn’t say this) he’s kind of dumb.
I mean he has a good heart
and he can drive a stick shift
but he’s not exactly going to talk your ear off
about Camus and existentialism. His friend
Tuesday is bright though.
Very politically engaged, up
on all the major issues, reminding everyone
to vote. She volunteers
at the soup kitchen too, trying to organize
the homeless into a cooperative.
She has a couple followers
but no one else pays her any mind.
Maybe it’s because she doesn’t understand
their fantasies of personal wealth.
This is not true of her nemesis
Sunday, heir to a vast fortune.
He only hangs with Friday and Saturday
and won’t be seen with anyone else.
Don’t tell Sunday this, but they only
like his money. He can be
quite insufferable at times; his snobby
arrogance is annoying but the priggishness
of his religious stance
is what really turns people off.
If you can get Sunday to drink a couple beers
he’s actually not so bad.
He’ll mostly talk about
golf or tennis or whatever else is on.
He may even be nice to Monday,
who gets a bad rap, all things considered.
When he wears a holiday
on his head or around his neck
he’s just as good as Saturday
or Sunday or anyone. When you show
him love he’s never shy in reciprocating.
Yes, Monday has stepped in a puddle
and splashed mud all over my new
yellow shirt. And okay, he messed up my order
back when he worked at the coffee shop.
But in the buzzing chainsaw blade of minutes
give me Monday, raw,
with everything to prove, ready
to begin a brand new ending.
