In a surprising move amid numerous economic and military failures, US President Trump has declared that he is the leader of all people living on earth and claims he has been appointed by God to run the planet.
In a statement posted on Untruth Social, he claims the right to fire all foreign leaders he dislikes. The self-proclaimed planetary Emperor also says he will “deport any unauthorized aliens regardless of their planet or star system of origin.”
“I hereby declare with God’s blessings that I am taking control of the planet as His emissary and co-ruler. God and I have some huge plans for the world. You’ll be glad to know that I am now the Supreme Ruler and Chief Executive Officer of Earth, Inc. My planetary corporation will make earth great again.”
Trump has repeated this mantra when confronted by opponents to his global takeover –
“Resistance Is Futile!”
Meanwhile, ICE has been authorized to abduct and detain any illegal extraterrestrials without warrants. Spokespersons for the Department of Homeland Security have revealed that several uninhabited asteroids and possibly the moon will be utilized as sites for enhanced detention camps using the latest force field technology to hold detainees until they can be transported out of the solar system.
So far, no other planetary bodies or star systems have agreed to receive the deportees but negotiations are apparently in the works with several galactic civilizations.
War Secretary Pete Hesgeth released a statement today indicating that military units might be involved in the alien deportation scheme, but he declined to respond to questions from interstellar correspondent Kristin Fisher from The Endless Void channel on Youtube when she asked,
“Are you planning to use technology obtained from flying saucer crash retrieval programs?”
Hesgeth said, “That is not something I can say in front of microphones and cameras. Let’s just say that we have the technology to enforce our will and we will use it. We’re going to kick some serious ass!”
Emperor Trump claims that aliens are in control of the “far left, Communist news media” in an attempt to undermine his regime. He also maintains that all nations or political leaders who oppose him are in cahoots with off world forces who want to “communize” the earth as part of their grand plan to dominate the Milky Way galaxy and impose anti-capitalist policies.
“NPR, PBS, CNN and MS Now are nothing but Marxist fronts for ET communists trying to destroy America. AOC and Ilhan Omar are their agents and I will not stand by and watch as our country and our planet is alienated.”
Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer is currently polling Democratic congressional members to see if they are willing to back legislation banning Trump’s alien deportation scheme. Schumer was quoted by CNN saying,
“We’ll have to take a serious look at the civil rights implications of Trump’s scheme, and we’ll probably form a committee to discuss our response sometime later this year if we can, but I’m not making any predictions or promises yet. But bottom line, I don’t think most countries will accept him as their leader without major concessions.”
Senator Bernie Sanders told this reporter that he believes extraterrestrials residing or visiting the United States should have the same constitutional rights as homo sapiens.
“We must make friends with them because they are superior intelligences who might be able to help us replace fossil fuel with electromagnetic anti-gravity technology. Among other things, they have better healthcare on their planets. We should seek to learn from them, not intern them.”
In a related news story, Vice President J.D. Vance has denied accusations linking him with various neo-nazi groups, arguing that those rumors were planted by aliens and their allies in Canada, Greenland and Iran.
Many world leaders have scoffed at the idea that Trump has been chosen by God to rule the planet. Canadian Prime Minister
Mark Carney told the Canadian parliament that his cat Nico would make a better world leader than Donald Trump.
“Nico is much more dignified than Trump, and my cat is a lot more popular in the opinion polls.”
