Hey guys, hope you’re enjoying another trip to Costco. Your social media posts have been hilarious. Did Alison really eat fifteen free samples of Swedish meatballs? That has to be a new record.
My Saturday is going alright.
I reorganized my pantry. It took all of four minutes, since I don’t have boxes of snacks to fill it with. Then I had a minor breakdown thinking about how good your lunch tasted. Pizza and chocolate chunk cookies? The Food Court Crew strikes again.
I noticed you bought paper towels in bulk. Wish you would’ve told me, seeing as I’m hosting our Survivor watch party next week. It’s fine, but Costco paper towels are cheap, and I already let Pete use my credit card to order a flat-screen TV.
Jackie, the picture of you seated atop the throne of beer boxes was amazing. You looked like the Queen of Costco holding court. By the way…were mattresses on sale? I wasn’t sure if you were serious about strapping one to the roof of your Mini Cooper, and I really need a new mattress.
Sometimes I think about how if owning a car wasn’t so expensive…or if someone offered to pick me up…I might finally buy a Costco membership. But lugging fifty pounds of groceries on a two-hour bus ride across town would be impossible with my bad back.
And I understand why Barry is the fifth seat in the carpool. He knows the seasonal deals, clips every coupon, and is cousins with a floor manager. The fact that Barry gets to lead the Food Court Crew inside Costco doesn’t bother me at all.
Unless…am I pushing my cart in circles here?
Never mind.
Anyway. Just checking in. You don’t have to reply. I know WiFi in the Costco warehouse is tricky. I’m at home making a list of things for our Survivor watch party. Paper towels, obviously.
Idk. It feels like the price of belonging keeps going up. Either that, or I’m just meant to shop alone. All I want is to sit shoulder-to-shoulder at a food court with people who care about me, eating something oversized and ridiculous. A 48-pack of muffins, maybe. Or a hot dog that costs $1.50.
Actually…did you guys leave Costco yet? I’ll grab a taxi. Or the bus. Whatever.
I’ll slip someone in the parking lot twenty bucks to use their membership card. I’ll find a cart, toss in a few things for the party…chips, salsa, a fire pit that goes perfectly with the Survivor theme. You’ll still be at the food court eating pizza, and I’ll slide into my seat, unwrap my $1.50 hot dog, and say there’s nothing you need to bring for the season finale. Everyone will say thanks, and I’ll wave it off like that’s what Costco is for.
You guys are the best.
This is going to be a fun party.
I’m on the bus.
