Thoughts About Brains

Photo by Stux.CC0/Public Domain license.
Photo by Stux.
CC0/Public Domain license.

Ugh… I feel like I’ve been stabbed through the chest with a harpoon and that I should be de-

OK, now I see the harpoon. Come to think of it, I remember the harpoon now, something about getting the biter behind me.

GODDAMMIT MELANIE YOU MISSED! But if you missed, how am I even thinking about how you missed? There’s a harpoon sticking out of my chest, but it doesn’t really hurt too bad and things are a little foggy in remembering right now and GOD am I hungry.

Wait. Harpoon in chest. Doesn’t hurt. Foggy brain. And now MORE hungry thinking about hungry foggy delic-

Oh no. Oh man. Am I… nooooo, I’m still thinking, so I CAN’T be a z-… zo-…

Calm down. Just… breathe. I… I haven’t been breathing. I’m currently NOT breathing and that doesn’t hurt either. That’s not a good sign.

I could really use a meal. I can’t see a lot though, things are either really dark or my vision is impaired. Judging by the harpoon that’s still sticking out of my chest, and I can’t feel my arms and hands well enough to pull it out, it’s probably not hard to see because it’s dark or whatever. This is awkward.

The only thing I can even sorta feel is my stomach. And I’m still friggin’ hungry. So let’s… let’s help that.


OK. Feet are moving. Forward motion is occurring. That’s a good start. Don’t feel like I’m moving particularly quickly, but at least I’m moving. Eyes are starting to focus a little too, which is good, I can see in front of me at least. And hey, there’s Melanie! HEY MELANIE! YOU MISSED WITH THE HARPOON GU-why is she not reacting to me? I… was that even a sentence? Were those words? I didn’t hear myself speaking words, and I didn’t feel my tongue move at all, though I thought I felt my throat vibrate like I was constructing sound, but… wait, lemme try it again…

HEY MELANIE! YOUR AIM-yeah, it’s… I’m not really talking, am I. It’s just kind of a grunting noise. Oh geez, look at her. Her arm is just hanging there, just off the bone. She’s not even TRYING to hold it together. And her neck, looks like it’s OH YEAH. When she shot ME through the chest she must’ve been attacked herself. Come to think of it, yeah, I thought I saw something move behind her, didn’t know if it was a cat or what. Go figure. So we both… we’re both zo–

NO. No no NO. I am NOT one of those. I’m not even going to say the WORD.

Still moving forward, kinda close to Melanie, maybe I can… OK, arms are out. That’s a start. Maybe I can hold on to her, see if we can move together. I wonder if she’ll notice I’m even here. I can’t feel too much, can she–SORRY! Sorry! I didn’t mean to grab that! Hell, I’m not even attracted to you that way! I kinda was before, but… wait, why am I NOT now? I’m OK… minus the harpoon…and she’s OK, minus the whole dangling arm bit. Not a great sign I guess. Maybe I can help her get her arm back on, lemme just–OHSHIT! I’m so, so sorry Melanie! I didn’t mean to take it ALL the way off! C’mon hands, dropitdropitdropit! Ewww! Arm!

It looks a little…why am I not dropping it? It…it doesn’t look THAT bad… Maybe… NO, what, drop the ar–GET IT OUT OF MY FACE! I don’t want it anywhere NEAR my face, why am I bringing it u-UMPH!

Grrphrlglg-get it out of my mouth! It’s disgus- it’s… it’s not… it’s not THAT… tasty… maybe ano- WHAT AM I DOING!? I’m NOT this! I’m not!

Uhhhggghh… head’s getting a bit hurty… who is this near me? They seem to be disoriented, just kinda wandering around there. I could really use a bite, feel like I haven’t eaten anything for DAYS and my stomach is just ACHING for a burger. Just some meat’ll do, maybe a good steak. Big, bloody steak. Maybe I should be looking around for some help, still think talking to somebody else can help me out. Maybe with the dull pain in my chest. What’s causing… wait, is that a harpoon? Why is there a harpoon there? That’s not where they go, right?

Things are getting fuzzier and… why is this arm in my hand? What happened here, anyway? And who… is that? They look like they’re angry, maybe I should go to them, see why they’re so mad, maybe I can go over and… so hungry… maybe they can help… one bite couldn’t hurt–


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