Seattle Central Inundated with Carrier Pigeons

Image by Nadeem Ahmed from Pixabay

While most of the students were taking spring break, advisors, security, and even animal control are dealing with ramifications of carrier pigeons. Despite students having access to Starfish and in-person appointments, many students are sending carrier pigeons with their class registration requests to campus.

“It’s so easy to send Chirby with my schedule,” says one student with her Haliaeetus leucocephalus on her hand. “I don’t imagine ever going back to the office again with Chirby being able to meet with registration or my advisor.” Security officer Jalyn Vo says “The pigeons are really cute! I love them so much!”

The chair of the Student Union Building Committee, admitted that with the influx of carrier pigeons, the committee is seriously considering creating a rookery with a professional carrier pigeon master. It will cost another $256,397.43 for the rookery to be included in the new design, but “if there is a way and that students will utilize it, then we will find a way to still be under-budget.”

But too many birds are appearing at the college’s doorstep. Students prefer to send carrier pigeons to the college rather than completing paperwork in person.

Despite the convenience of having birds carry the registration class requests, both registration and advising offices are asking students to stop sending their personal carrier pigeons to register for classes. Kao LéZheo, Vice President of Student Services, admits that the school was not prepared.

“It’s impressive that students are getting creative about ways to to register, but the problem is that most students are not registering for the classes that they are qualified to take. Students need to talk with their advisors to make sure that they register for the right class.”

Sociology professor Gregory Hinckley notes that many classes are not on block schedule and that the schedule sometimes overlaps with classes that are one hour long, making it impossible to have a schedule that works for students and pigeons.

Furthermore, the carrier birds often have class and section requests written on napkins, notepaper, and sticky notes instead of the official enrollment forms.

Dean of Enrollment Services and Registrar Diane Coleman confirmed, “The school receives all the paperwork and fees attached to the pigeons, but it’s a problem when the birds haven’t been trained to leave digital signatures instead of…you know. They even peck the wrong plexiglass window, but that may be because of the leftover snacks on the desk.”

The pigeons’ training has even baffled even the biology professors who have studied and research animal behaviors. For some reason, birds designated for registration either go to registration or advising, but birds entering the north entrance always fly directly to advising. As a short term fix, students are having their birds piggyback on people who enter either the main entrance or the south entrance of the main building.

College president Bradley Lane said in a statement “We are doing are best to be responsive to student needs, but with the access to technology and people to help students register, I have no idea why people are using animals to do their personal bidding. We don’t even have a meal plan for the birds.”

Culinary students however view this as simply one more challenge. “Pigeons have been lining up outside of The Buzzard,” says one culinary student. “We don’t even know how they changed the cafe’s name and…we’d really just prefer them to check our new suet-based menu at One World. It’s vegan-friendly and cruelty-free.”

Still, the administration frowns on this new roost. The message from the school is clear: before considering using a carrier pigeon, either register online, meet with an advisor on Zoom or in BE1102, or email the instructors.

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