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  • Giant Wheedle Crushes Viaduct; Murray blames McGinn for Anti-Tunnel Agitation
    1 April, 2014

    Giant Wheedle Crushes Viaduct; Murray blames McGinn for Anti-Tunnel Agitation

    After more than 20 years absence from Seattle, the now gigantic kaiju and former Sonics mascot known as the Wheedle emerged from Elliott Bay to crush the Viaduct.

    by

    Charles Noreaster

    Poetry
  • Goldy Adds His Face to The Seattle Star
    1 April, 2014

    Goldy Adds His Face to The Seattle Star

    Finally we can finally break the news that Goldy has joined the Seattle Star’s list of faces. Charles Noreaster has the scoop.

    by

    Charles Noreaster

    Poetry
  • Brian Bosworth Warms Up for The Expendables 3
    1 April, 2014

    Brian Bosworth Warms Up for The Expendables 3

    Seattle Seahawks legend Brian Bosworth teams up with Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas, Sly Stallone, Steven Seagal and a bunch of other Y-chromosome bearers in the latest testosterone fest.

    by

    Charles Noreaster

    Poetry
  • SUFFERING SQUATCH ATTACK!!!
    1 April, 2014

    SUFFERING SQUATCH ATTACK!!!

    The former Sonics mascot’s true plans over the past few years have come to awful fruition.

    by

    Otto S. Fishbein

    Poetry
  • Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s Secret Passion
    1 April, 2014

    Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s Secret Passion

    Local reporters and music fans were shocked when an anonymous whistle blower in the music business revealed that Sir Mix-A-Lot has had a lifelong secret obsession with Gertrude from the J.P. Patches Show.

    by

    Mark Taylor-Canfield

    Poetry
  • Frank Colacurcio reviews Rick Anderson’s Seattle Vice
    1 April, 2014

    Frank Colacurcio reviews Rick Anderson’s Seattle Vice

    Back from the dead and ready to party, the Frank Colacurio-approved book by Rick Anderson gets its day to bleach in the window sunlight.

    by

    Raymond Murphy

    Poetry
  • Axis of Weasels Seize West Seattle and Shoreline
    1 April, 2014

    Axis of Weasels Seize West Seattle and Shoreline

    Carlson & Beck form Axis of Weasels, seize West Seattle & Shoreline! Vashon & Lake Forest park invaded! Carlson sez, “We need lebensraum!” Beck sez “Ethnic cleansing is for everybody!”

    by

    Sam Luis Obispo

    Poetry
  • Zoe|Juniper’s BeginAgain: The Chain
    1 April, 2014

    Zoe|Juniper’s BeginAgain: The Chain

    Everything we have to say about zoe|juniper, and less.

    by

    Omar Willey

    Poetry
  • 36 Most Condescending Things to Ask a South Asian American
    1 April, 2014

    36 Most Condescending Things to Ask a South Asian American

    Offend all your South Asian acquaintances with this helpful list

    by

    Howard Beale

    Poetry
  • Seattle Times Prints Rare Anti-Boeing Op/Ed
    1 April, 2014

    Seattle Times Prints Rare Anti-Boeing Op/Ed

    The Blethens dispose of Tony Ridder for just long enough to let their true feelings about Boeing be known.

    by

    Charles Noreaster

    Poetry
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